A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal by Jen Waite
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Summary
“Like Big Little Lies, A Beautiful Terrible Thing is a startling reminder that fairy tales aren’t real. A master class in suspenseful storytelling, Jen Waite recounts the lies, betrayals, and infidelity she endured with unrestrained honesty and deft candor. I couldn’t turn away.”
Ugh. One reviewer described this book as a "A master class in suspenseful storytelling...that recounts the lies, betrayals, and infidelity she endured with unrestrained honesty, deft and candor..." But to me, it felt like just another high school drama where a boy and girl fall in love, experience some bumps along the way, and then the girl realizes her boyfriend has moved on to someone else.
From what I gathered, the author went through a brief marriage that involved infidelity. While infidelity and lying are certainly not admirable, they don't necessarily make someone a psychopath. The real issue here seems to be building a relationship solely based on the initial excitement of new love, instead of taking a step back to evaluate shared values and compatibility.
The author portrays herself as a victim, but she ignored some clear red flags: 1. Her husband-to-be was an illegal immigrant, but she overlooked it because he had attractive physical attributes. 2. He had a failed marriage and a child from a previous relationship, but she gave him credit for his child's intelligence. 3. His job allowed him to hide his immigration status, and he was just a bartender skilled at flirting, not a sommelier with a genuine passion for customer service and fine wine.
The book also presents the husband's behavior as some kind of medical mystery, when it simply sounds like he was overworked, lacked proper sleep habits, and faced the challenges that come with real relationships. Relying on Google for answers is just nonsense; it's a search engine, not an all-knowing oracle.
This so-called psychopath was a new father and husband who still craved the excitement of new love. Immature men often seek that out when they don't understand what it means to be committed and loving in a long-term partnership. The chemicals of initial attraction faded, and this guy couldn't handle it. Again, he's not a psychopath, just immature.
I bought this book hoping to relate to an author who experienced serious marital issues. In my own marriage, I deal with "gaslighting" on a regular basis. I entered the marriage with a commitment to stick through the good and the bad. When it eventually ends (either through separation or death), I will know I did my part.
Instead, I got a book from an author who had a predetermined idea of what marriage should be like. When her own marriage didn't meet those expectations, she seemed to believe there was some serious medical reason behind it. So, her ex-husband becomes a psychopath, while she, a struggling actress, finally gets the publicity she craves.
By the way, cheating is always wrong, so why was it acceptable to overlook pre-marriage cheating but suddenly make post-marriage cheating a big deal?
Listening to this audiobook was an incredibly painful experience! Despite the discomfort, I felt compelled to complete it given that I had invested in it. While I comprehend that the author's intention was to convey her personal perspective rather than adopting a radio-like narrative, her tone was excessively distressing. I acknowledge that she is deeply hurt and her husband's deceit is utterly despicable, but I couldn't help but question the necessity of dedicating an entire book to discuss this matter.
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