The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples Audiobook [Free Download by Trial]

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The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples by John M. Gottman Ph.D.

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Summary

For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman's research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called "emotional attunement," which describes a couple's ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect each other, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers a detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

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10 comments

  • Amos L.
    •November 6, 2023 at 4:31 pm
    I gotta say, this audiobook has seriously transformed my relationships. It's had such a positive impact on how I connect and engage with my family, friends, and even people I barely know. My therapist put me onto John Gottman's work, and after a failed attempt at a romantic relationship, I decided to give this book a shot. Let me tell you, it's packed with practical advice. I absolutely loved diving into the theories, learning about other resources, and listening to all those real-life examples of couples' interactions. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
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  • Jessia Darga
    •November 6, 2023 at 5:37 am
    This audiobook is packed with valuable insights, although it does get overshadowed by Gottman's excessive self-praise. Despite this, it remains a worthwhile read, although it could have been condensed significantly by cutting out the self-promotion.
    0 0 •Reply
  • Dwight Zientara
    •November 3, 2023 at 4:22 pm
    I found this book to be incredibly helpful when it comes to delving into the intricacies of trust, betrayal, and other related aspects. It offers concrete evidence on what truly contributes to the success or downfall of long-lasting, happy marriages. Essentially, it presents a formula for creating and maintaining a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
    0 0 •Reply
  • Mervin S.
    •October 25, 2023 at 7:19 am
    To be honest, 'The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples' may not be the most helpful listen/read for the average couple or therapist. While it does contain valuable insights, it places excessive emphasis on research methods and uses complex terminology, making it challenging to grasp its main points. We understand that the author is knowledgeable, but it would be more beneficial if they could present the information in simpler terms that everyone can understand.
    0 0 •Reply
  • Zulma Gamblin
    •October 21, 2023 at 5:47 am
    The audiobook has a lot of valuable information, although I must admit that some parts were a bit difficult to understand without the visual aid. It's probably easier to grasp the concepts when you have the opportunity to read them.
    0 0 •Reply
  • Isaias Rellama
    •September 28, 2023 at 10:26 am
    I used to get frustrated with couple's therapy because each professor had their own techniques and vague foundations. It seemed like they were just making assumptions instead of having a solid theory. The contradicting teachings from different professors only made matters worse, with dismal results and weak explanations. But then I discovered Gottman's 'The Science of Trust' and listened to the audiobook multiple times. This book completely changed my perspective on couple's therapy. Gottman presents a extensively tested model of couple dynamics that applies to all ages, sexual orientations, and cultures. With 40 years of data collection, this model has proven to be incredibly effective and has stood the test of time. It's truly remarkable. If you want to understand why your relationship is struggling and learn how to make it better, I highly recommend reading this book. For those with a stronger math background, you can dive even deeper with Gottman's 'Mathematics of Marriage,' which is only available in print or as an e-book.
    0 0 •Reply
  • Darius Mctiernan
    •September 27, 2023 at 8:33 pm
    When it comes to actually reading the book, you might find it interesting or useful, but unfortunately, listening to it might leave you disappointed. The audiobook is filled with long lists of dos and don'ts, as well as numerous findings. There's an abundance of charts and graphs that are referenced throughout. Essentially, the book is heavy on data but light on actual substance. It primarily focuses on presenting findings and acts more like a guide for solving equations than a book that offers practical help in relationships. As you listen to the narrator go through a lengthy list of findings and describe graphs and axis points, you may quickly find your mind wandering and questioning why you even purchased this book in the first place. If you happen to be intrigued by a PhD attempting to validate their theories through a whopping 16 hours of data, then this book will likely bring you immense satisfaction. However, if you had hopes of finding something that could genuinely assist your relationship, you'll only discover about 2% of this book to be truly helpful.
    0 0 •Reply
  • Zola Meinhardt
    •September 27, 2023 at 11:48 am
    I gotta say, I had a great time listening to this audiobook. It did lose a bit of steam in certain parts, but I found the author's mathematical approach to studying couples quite intriguing. The main concept of the "trust metric" really stuck with me, as it plays a major role in determining overall marital satisfaction - something I didn't fully grasp before. However, it's important to consider the bigger picture here. The author himself is on his third marriage, and his "experimental results" haven't been tested on fresh, new data sets. This makes me wonder if he may have gotten a bit carried away with his findings. Nevertheless, this audiobook is a solid step towards understanding relationships between couples.
    0 0 •Reply

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