Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines by Nic Sheff
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Summary
Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age eleven. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise.
After listening to Nic's father's book, "Beautiful Boy," I was intrigued to hear Nic's perspective on his intense story of addiction in "Tweak." This book confirmed my initial impression that the story revolves around privileged narcissists, a result of divorced parents obsessed with fame and celebrities. It becomes evident that Nic had opportunities growing up, with his parents, especially his dad, trying to compensate for the divorce and their promiscuity during his youth by being the "cool parent." Throughout the audiobook, Nic constantly name-drops celebrities, bands, and authors, emphasizing his own obsession with the celebrity lifestyle, although not as obvious as his father's in "Beautiful Boy." It's understandable that many kids growing up around the time of Cobain's suicide were affected, and idolized him and his destructive lifestyle.
At one point, Nic casually mentions engaging in drug-fueled orgies and prostituting himself to random men, but fails to provide further context or explanation. This raises concerns about his future sexual experiences and his respect for his partners, especially during sobriety. These interjecting recollections, even if based on real events, feel like writing devices aimed at shock value rather than shedding light on how Nic ended up where he did and why. The writing itself is a mixed bag, with a lot of millennial vibes conveyed in the text. Although the narrator does his best to elevate the material with his performance, hearing him imitate a female drug addict repeatedly saying "oh, baby" and "I love you" in an artificial sweet voice becomes tiresome.
The latter half of the story focuses on Nic's love affair with a person referred to as 'Zelda,' which becomes cringe-worthy and drags on for too long. This part, along with the chosen pseudonym, adds to the regret of starting to listen to this book in the first place.
Overall, this drug-fueled memoir raises several points, primarily whether the reader can relate to and follow Nic as he exposes himself as incredibly naive when dealing with streetwise acquaintances, clueless in matters of love, and immature in setting goals for himself. These poor life decisions persist even when Nic is sober, making it surprising that he hasn't ended up in a dire situation. Meth is indeed a dangerous drug, as they say, and I'm relieved that Nic has survived.
If there's one thing I took away from this book, it's that drug addiction is a complex disease rooted in one's mental state, perspective, and place in life, rather than solely physical dependence. It's a disease that can affect anyone, regardless of wealth, age, or the speed at which they try to escape it. At the end of the day, I sympathize with Nic to some extent because I recognize that he is a product of his environment and his life reflects how his parents raised him. However, I can't help but resent and detest the pervasive celebrity worship culture that permeates every page of this book.
I don't have any sympathy for people struggling with substance abuse because I've always wondered why they can't just quit. I had friends who were addicts and they always found it difficult to give up their habits. I could never understand their drug obsessions and the whole concept of the 12 Step Program, weekly meetings, and support, even after they completed rehab.
However, after reading this book and learning about Nic's life, I now have a bit of understanding of what my friends went through when they kicked their habits.
Has my perspective on my friends changed after reading this book?
Not really, because they are still my friends and they choose to use drugs. However, I now understand the challenges of addiction and the need for lifelong support.
I believe I will gain more insight into Nic's life from his father's perspective in "Beautiful Boy." I think that book will give me a better understanding of what my friends are going through, as it provides an outsider's viewpoint rather than an addict sharing their own story.
"Tweak" is a brutally honest depiction of real-life experiences.
Don't read it expecting to be scared straight, as it lacks sufficient facts and figures about the consequences of drug use.
Read this book to gain insight into the constant high experienced by addicts.
I unintentionally ended up downloading "Dad's Beautiful Boy" while searching for audiobooks, alongside "Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines." Sadly, it's not as well-written as the former, but it provides an interesting perspective to hear both sides of the story. However, I'm not convinced that the author truly comprehends the full extent of his actions, even at present. I'm puzzled by the choice of title, "Tweak." It seems to reflect the mindset of a genuine addict who refuses to take accountability for the immense pain they have caused and continue to inflict upon others. This audiobook sheds light on the isolated nature of addiction and how it affects not only the individual but also everyone around them. It's disheartening to witness the perpetrator still believing that the world revolves around them, with a self-centered view. Perhaps this younger generation has been involved in the drug scene for much longer than we realized.
This audiobook delves into the harsh reality of drug addiction, where the cycle of substance abuse, hitting rock bottom, going through detox, and repeating the process becomes an all-too-familiar pattern. The author vividly captures this relentless cycle, where the only variables that change are the individuals involved, the locations, and the circumstances.
This book and the companion novel, Beautiful Boy, couldn't be more different. In this book, we witness the journey of a young man who grew up with all the privileges one could imagine. However, he struggled to overcome the pain of his mother's departure and consistently made choices that were morally reprehensible. Despite his family's unwavering support and his sponsor's constant presence, he became consumed by a woman to the point where it seemed he had never experienced love before. It was as if he couldn't breathe unless she took a breath first. We observe his profound naivety, even with his privileged upbringing. He lacked the strength to distance himself from harmful situations. Instead of being titled "Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines," it could have been called "I Am Zelda's Doormat" as his young love was so inexperienced that he believed no one else had ever experienced such a profound connection. In comparison, Beautiful Boy offers a more diverse perspective, while this book came across as a self-indulgent monologue filled with complaints and a need for attention, as if no one knew more about famous people than the author himself.
The plot of the book was solid, but unfortunately, the narrator didn't quite seem to fit the vibe or add that extra spark of life to the characters.
Regardless, it's still definitely worth giving a listen.
I absolutely loved this book! There were numerous instances where I could relate to the author's experiences, as if he was narrating my own life. I'm eagerly anticipating his next publication!
If you or someone you're close to is dealing with addiction, you absolutely need to read this book. The author truly captures the raw and relatable experiences of an addict. I found myself hooked on this audiobook, eagerly looking forward to my commute just so I could continue listening. If you enjoyed "A Million Pieces," you're going to be obsessed with this one.
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